Weird Criminal Law Stories # 628: Penis envy, maybe?

TENNESSEE: Penis envy, maybe? A woman received a notice from her homeowners’ association that she was being fined because the tires of her car created an image in the snow that looked to her neighbors like a penis. The woman who did not wish to reveal her name, wrote back saying she could not control the shape her tires make. The association quickly backed down.

AUSTRALIA: Blowing in the wind? It has been reported that David Hingst, who works for an engineering firm, sued his employer for more than $1 million because his former supervisor bent over and farted at him several times a day. However, the court dismissed the claim, ruling that breaking wind did not constitute bullying.

UNITED KINGDOM: “He was unarmed and dangerous,” read the headline. We learn that an armless British man allegedly stabbed his father – with a scissor blade he held in his toes. Rory O’Connor was born with no arms, but that did not stop him from slashing his father, Kevin, after the older man commanded him to stop carrying the blade, according to authorities.

ARKANSAS: IDIOTS TWO? Two men were arrested for shooting at each other with a .22 caliber semiautomatic rifle as they took turns wearing a bullet- proof vest. Charles Ferris and Christopher Hicks were charged when Ferris went to a Rogers, hospital with a minor injury. Would we be surprised to learn that alcohol was involved?

AUSTRALIA: The headline read, “Saved by the cell.” A man’s life was saved when an attacker fired an arrow at him – and it was blocked by his iPhone. Authorities say that the victim, 43, had raised the iPhone to record the confrontation when the attacker fired. The arrow pierced the phone, but only knocked the device into the owner’s face, leaving a small cut. The armed man, 39, was charged with assault. Police say the men knew each other.

CALIFORNIA: “He’s not the sharpest tool in the shed,” read the headline. A bandit was caught on camera stealing a chain saw from a home improvement store by stuffing it down his pants. Video shows the bandito taking a $400 power tool from a display in Fresno, shoving it down his dress slacks and fleeing.

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