BRAZIL: The best bank rubber mask yet, but to no avail. A thief donned an amazingly lifelike old-man disguise during a bank robbery in mid-August 2019 and might have gotten away with it if he had not fallen out of a window and breaking his leg. The bandit identified only as a former employee of the bank, brandished a plastic gun and attempted to take hostages. During the heist in the state of Santa Catarina, police report. When police closed in, he tried to escape through a window – but fell on a car and broke his leg. Unable to flee the man was arrested. His name was not revealed in the police report.
CALIFORNIA: Null & Void, idiot. It has been reported that a traffic scofflaw attempted to trick the DMV using a vanity license plate – only to end up with $12,000 worth traffic tickets. The bandit thought that using the plate “NULL,” would confuse the DMV’s ticketing system. Instead, he started receiving all of the outstanding tickets in the department’s database that, due to incomplete data, had been assigned to the license plate “Null.”
COLORADO: Oh, so high at the power plant… We learn that employees at their power plant had a surprise when they found a naked man at the top of a 150-foot steel power line. Officials said. Police ultimately coaxed the 29-year-old man off the Comanche Power Plant power line. “He had held onto his boxers and paused to get them back on before getting onto the ladder.” The Pueblo police spokesman said. The unidentified New Mexico man’s father said his son has been struggling with narcotics. YOU Think!
DENMARK: Convicted pig farmers may have been bad seeds. Two high-end pork producers were convicted of smuggling Danish-boar semen into Australia, against biosecurity and quarantine laws meant to stop the spread of African Swine Fever, which had led to the deaths of hundreds of millions of pigs in Asia. The sperm was used in a pork-breeding program to get a leg up on competitors. The duo received two to three years prison sentences.
FLORIDA: Invalid trade offer? A naked bicyclist tried to trade his two-wheeler for merchandise inside a local sex shop. Witnesses say they saw the bareback biker weaving through rush hour traffic in Wilton Manor in August. He then wandered into the RockHard Lovestuff store where he snatched a pair of crotch-less panties, put them on and offered his bike to employees in return. There is no follow up information from authorities about the matter.
