NEW YORK CITY: 10 years for kiddie porn dentist. A dentist who admitted to pedaling child pornography and exchanging root canals for meth was sentenced in Brooklyn federal court in late-March 2019. John W. Wolf, 62, who was arrested with a flash drive containing porn videos of children between ages 5 and 13, took a plea deal. He faced up to 60 years in prison if convicted at trial. At his sentencing he admitted to contributing to sex trafficking and sexual abuse of children. However, he contended he was not a pedophile.
OHIO: Where is the Jerky? It has ben reported that police had a “beef” with a bandit who was arrested for allegedly stealing $1,000 in Slim Jims by stuffing them down his pants. The police report, further, that the so-called “jerky junkie” allegedly hid so many handfuls of the beef sticks in his sweat pants, he had to tighten his drawstring so they wouldn’t fall out at the convenience store in the town of Reynoldsburg. He bolted away from the store and sped a way in a silver Chevrolet Malibu but was caught by police.
OREGON: Roomba Rhumba? When Portland police went to sweep this crime scene for clues, they found that it had already been swept. A house sitter called 911 to report an intruder in the bathroom. Responding police busted in only to find a Roomba robotic vacuum cleaner bumping against the walls and door of the bathroom.
OREGON: Bad daddy cookie news? A Forest Grove, man was accused of faking a break-in at his home to try to cover up an even worse crime. Stealing $740 from his daughter’s Girl Scouts cookie sales. Brian Couture, 40, called 911 to say an intruder had entered his home and taken the cookie proceeds. The police investigation revealed that he was the thief.
PENNSYLVANIA: What’s in a name, Sober You’re drunk. A man named Daniel Sober was arrested for DWI with a blood alcohol level of twice the legal limit. Sober, 44, was jailed for the alleged booze-and-cruise near Pittsburgh, police said. He was released reconnaissance after he “sobered” up.
