Weird Criminal Law Stories # 692: Man On The Rum?

FLORIDA: The headline read, “Man on the rum.” A drunken man was arrested stealing a floating wooden tiki-hut bar and using it as a makeshift boat in open water. US Coast Guards from Key West spotted the man slumped over the steering wheel of the octagonal wooden vessel, which has a thatched roof and a motor.

GERMANY: Heranwachsenden Defense? It has reported recently that prosecutors have filed charges against a 91-year-old woman who they say helped carry out “the systematic killing on Jewish prisoners,” along with polish partisans and Russian prisoners of war.  The woman, who testified against the Nazi camp’s commandant in the 1950s and now is subject to an investigation where she has been charged with 10,000 counts of accessory to attempted murder. In a twist, the case is being handled by a juvenile court because she was under 21 when she worked as a secretary at the Stutthof concentration camp near Gdansk on Poland’s Baltic coast. The woman was not named, but the senior Public Prosecutor used the term “Heranwachsenden” to refer to her. German law uses the term to refer to someone between 18 and 21 years old. We know that she would have been 18 or 19 when she started working at the camp. The woman has claimed that she was never aware of poisonings or other acts of genocide, in part because her office window faced outward from the  camp. She has claimed, further, that she never set foot in the camp itself.

OHIO: Dumbest Turncoat ever! A man who allegedly kicked in a window of the US Capitol during the January 6, 2021, riot was arrested by the FBI who determined he was wearing a jacket, that had the phone number of his painting business on the back. Authorities viewed video that showed Troy Faulkner smashing a window with his boot as a mob of Trump supporters broke into the building in an attempt to overturn the 2020 presidential results. The video also showed Faulkner wearing  a tan jacket with an advertisement for “Faulkner Painting” and the telephone number xxx-xxx-6985 according to the affidavit  in support of the criminal complaint against him. It appears he may have painted himself into a corner.

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