Weird Criminal Law Stories # 460: Just How Young is She, Anyhow?

UNITED KINGDOM: Just how young does this filly look? Inquiring minds would like to know… A British man says he is forced to carry ID for his 32-year-old girlfriend because she looks so young that people accuse him of pedophilia. Shakey Finks, 42, maintains that his life has become unbearable as people have wrongly accused him of molesting children.

AUSTRALIA: No FWD – no frying while driving! Police in the city of Adelaide, spotted a strange-looking Mazda and pulled it over to find its steering wheel had been replaced with a frying pan. Police impounded the car after they discovered that the 32-year-old driver was uninsured.

NEW YORK CITY: Screwed by his brothers, or just screwed? A Harlem man accused of trying to smuggle more than $776,000 hidden in Alka-Seltzer boxes into Yemen sobbed on the witness stand that he had been “screwed’ by his brothers. Abudulkarim Altareb, 50, maintained he had no clue  that the money, allegedly slated for construction projects in Yemen, was hidden in the suitcases when he checked in at JFK Airport last March. “I call my brother, I say, Latif, did you do anything? What’s in those bags? I feel something is not good,” Altareb recalled. The report by the federal agents who pulled him aside at JFK stated he said “I started crying. They screwed me. They screwed me,” Altrareb wept.


FLORIDA: The headline on this read: “He had probable claws.” Workers at a Walmart arrested a man shoving packages of fresh lobster down his pants. Mark Belkola, 57, allegedly tried to get away with two packages of lobster, along with four packs of steaks at the Brooksville store. Police realized the man may have been hungry but nevertheless arrested him.


FLORIDA: E-cig fireball explosion, OUCH! A teenage girl riding a Universal Orlando amusement park ride suffered burns when another rider’s electronic cigarette exploded and shot a fireball at her. The 14-year-old from Tennessee was riding the Hogwarts Express train with her family one Saturday in September, 2016, when the e-cigarette blew up in the other rider’s pocket and a fireball hit her in the face. The young lady was taken to a local hospital with mild to moderate burns.




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