TEXAS: Watermelon man? A truck stopped at the Mexico-Texas border was allegedly carrying only refreshing summer watermelons. Nevertheless, officials pulled over the refrigerated tractor-trailer for a second inspection at the Pharr International Bridge in mid-August. Stashed among the watermelons customs officials found 2,304 pounds of marijuana worth about $460,700. Yes, an arrest an arrest was made and both the melons and the marijuana were all confiscated.
VERMONT: PWEH! A man was charged with disorderly conduct for spraying liquid manure on a marked US Customs and Border Protection car. Mark Johnson, 53, of Alburgh, claimed the spraying was an accident. However, a border-patrol agent said Johnson had just complained about the feds purportedly failing to do more to crack down on illegal immigrants doing farm labor in the area. Oppps!
CANADA: Projection screen madness. It has been reported that a moron recently tried to hold up a motel armed with a projection screen. Surveillance video showed the masked man, armed with a long cylindrical tube, demanding money from a motel clerk in North Battleford. Saskatchewan, one Tuesday in August. When the clerk refused, he ran off with the old-school projector screen that may have been used in a 1980’s elementary school
VIRGINIA: Toxic Windex and/or toxic woman? A woman was sentenced last week to more than three years in prison for poisoning a co-worker’s coffee with Windex. Mayda Juarez, 33, of Sterling had pleaded guilty in February to adulteration of food. Juarez’s supervisor found security footage showing her pouring Windex into the break room coffee maker after her colleagues experienced stomach pain and vomiting.
TENNESSEE: The headline read, “She’ll be in the Big House over the dollhouse.” A woman tried to steal a dollhouse worth $1,000 – but couldn’t fit it into her automobile. Kingsport police released a security video showing the frustrated bandit struggling with the dollhouse, which she stole from a storage unit. Eventually, she gave up and took off in a black Oldsmobile Alero. An arrest has not yet been made.
