Weird Criminal Law Stories 510: Too much meat in his pants

FLORIDA: Too much meat in his pants? An Indiantown man was apprehended stealing from a grocery store after a police officer observed him pulling a full rack of ribs from the waistband of his trousers, according to police authorities. Maeli Alverez, 26, was also caught swiping two packages of hamburger buns, nine pieces of fried chicken, and mashed potatoes at the Rines Market IGA in Indiantown. Yes, an arrest was made.


GUINEA, WEST AFRICA: It really only takes 9 months. A phony healer in Africa was arrested for allegedly tricking hundreds of women into believing they were pregnant by feeding them a herbal concoction that made their stomachs bloat for up to 16 months. Police in the Guinean capital of Conakry say women struggling to conceive paid $33 to N’na Fanta Camara for the mixture of leaves and herbs. He remains in jail.


ILLINOIS: Cash and cocaine? We learn that a McDonald’s customer paid for her order with cash and cocaine. An employee told police that the customer pulled up to the Peoria carry out window in a Cadillac. After she paid with cash, the employee realized he was also holding a small plastic bag containing white powder. Authorities believe the woman accidentally handed over the coke. No arrest has been made.


FLORIDA: Police say this lovers’ quarrel turned “fowl.” A spat between two lovers turned into an assault when Juwan Brown, 23, of St. Petersburg was arrested for allegedly striking his girlfriend in the face by throwing a chunk of fried chicken at her which knocked off her glasses. Police also report that Brown, the fried-food flinger, has a record of domestic violence and maintain that brown also stepped on the woman’s foot during the melee.


NORTH CAROLINA: IRONY? A man who once won a police department sponsored donut eating contest was recently arrested for burglarizing a Dunkin’ Donuts. Bradley Hardison, 27, was charged with felony breaking and entering, felony safe cracking and felony larceny of the Elizabeth City Dunkin’ Donuts.



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