Weird Criminal Law Stories # 522: All Florida Stories!

FLORIDA: A terrible shot in the groin! We learn that a Florida man could be jailed for accidentally shooting himself in the penis. Cedrick Jelks, 38, of Jacksonville, ran to the bathroom of a stranger’s home after he sat on his gun in his car and the gun went off. The homeowner followed Jelks, saw that he was wounded, and took him to a hospital where he underwent surgery. Jelks, we learn, may now face some jail time for the possession of a firearm because of his 2004 felony conviction for cocaine possession. Convicted felons are not allowed to carry or own firearms.


FLORIDA: UGH! From butt to mouth! A woman charged with heroin possession gained more charges when jailers found a bag of meth in her butt, according to authorities. Summer Adamson, 30, was originally put under arrest after police found a syringe and heroin in her car. As she was being booked into jail, Adamson pulled the baggie from her hindquarters and put it in her mouth – but not fast enough for Collier county sheriff’s deputies to miss it. Another charge was added.


FLORIDA: Fake it until you make it – NOT! A man pretending to be a police officer was arrested when he tried to pull over a woman – who turned out to be a real-life police officer.  Milton Perez, 46, allegedly rolled down the window of his Ford Mustang, flashed a fake silver badge and ordered Miami Officer Kenia Fallat to stop the car. Fallat, who was driving an unmarked police car, promptly charged him with impersonating an officer and false arrest.


FLORIDA:  The headline read: “Need a lift.” It appears that a Florida man was tired of walking, so he stole a $38,000 forklift and drove it to his home in Port Orange. We learn that this was not Bradley Barefoot’s first forklift heist. He also stole one a year ago in Daytona Beach, officials report.


FLORIDA:  Cookie Monster? A man was arrested for allegedly smuggling 11 ounces of cocaine in a Cookie Monster doll. Camus McNair, 39, of Key West was pulled over by a sheriff’s deputy for overly tinted windows when the deputy smelled marijuana, he searched McNair’s backpack and found the heavier than usual doll and its contents, said sheriff’s deputies in Monroe County.


FLORIDA:  Hotsie Totsie irony… A woman was arrested for allegedly leaving her child in a hot car – then complained the entire way to jail that she was too hot.  Colleen Walker, 30, left her 5-year-old in a hot, locked car while she shopped for 30 minutes, according to surveillance videos in the store. “Walker was complaining that the back seat of our patrol car was too hot on her way to jail, and asked the officer to turn the A/C up,” said South Daytona police Lt Dan Dietrich. Irony at its best.


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