INDIA: He’ll never forget this crime. A religious guru whose penis was chopped off by a woman as allegedly tried to rape her says he’s on the road to recovery. Swamy Gangeshananda was accused of abusing a now 23-year-old woman for years in South India before she sliced off his manhood with a knife. The not-so-holy man underwent extensive surgery and says he is now functional.
KANSAS: Dummy mommy! A woman says she accidentally got her children high on the hallucinogen known as PCP because she thought it was vanilla extract. The allegedly unwitting mother from Kansas City had made French toast for her teen and two infants when they started tripping out and had to be rushed to a hospital. She said a relative’s drug user’sex-boyfriend may have put the angel dust in the bottle.
LOUISIANA: Creole voto? We learn that ten LA state senators voted against an anti-bestiality bill. State law forbids “crimes against nature.” Including sodomy but does not expressly address human animal-sex. The bill which passed 24-10 in mid-April 2018, forbids bestiality but makes legal anal sex in the wake of a court ruling that found the law unconstitutional.
LOUISIANA: A burglar caught orange-handed! A Monroe, homeowner entered her residence in mid-April 2018 to discover a naked woman in her bathtub, chomping on Cheetos while taking a bath. The suspect,Evelyn Washington, 29, was arrested on burglary and property damage charges.There was no charge for eating Cheetos while bathing.
NEW YORK: Panty raiding Judge? A Long Island judge accused of snatching a pair of his neighbor’s dirty panties was suspended by the state in April of 2018. Suffolk County District Judge Robert Cicale, 49,was put on paid leave after his arrest. The facts of the case reveal that Cicale’s 23-year-old East Islip neighbor was home alone on a Thursday when she heard a noise and saw a man matching the judge’s description run off. Cicale was later found carrying multiple “soiled female undergarments. He was formerly charged with second-degree burglary.
LOUISIANA: A burglar caught orange-handed! A Monroe, homeowner entered her residence in mid-April 2018 to discover a naked woman in her bathtub, chomping on Cheetos while taking a bath. The suspect,Evelyn Washington, 29, was arrested on burglary and property damage charges.There was no charge for eating Cheetos while bathing.
NEW ZEALAND: Would be monkey thieves foiled. A band of crooks recently used bolt cutters to slip into a squirrel monkey enclosure at the Wellington Zoo in Newton. However, the monkeys pounced on the bandits,according to zoo officials who said some of the animals suffered scrapes during the scuffle. None of the monkeys was taken. The crooks are still at large.
SOUTH CAROLINA: At least he was not a “Hamburglar.” It has been reported that a hungry crook kicked down the door of a S.C. home – all for two chicken nuggets. The thief busted through the back door of the house in Columbia and snatched the nuggets,valued at a dollar, from the fridge.
