ARGENTINA: The old dog ate our homework excuse, maybe…?” We learn that eight police officers in this South American country were fired after they claimed that more than half a ton of marijuana missing from a police warehouse had been eaten by mice. During an inspection of the 13,227 pounds of impounded drugs, only 12,037 were found, authorities said. Must have been some big mice…
AUSTRALIA: Just one more pint, mate… A drunken man who was stabbed during a bar brawl ordered one more pint of beer – with a knife sticking out of his back. It appears that the fight broke out between the 27-year-old victim and a 20-year-old man outside of Beerwash Hotel near Lanesborough. After the victim was stabbed, he walked back inside the bar and drank another cold one before finally heading to the Sunshine Coast University Hospital.
AUSTRALIA: OH POOT! A judge has ruled that repeatedly farting on someone is not bullying. Victoria Supreme Court Judge Rita Zammit issued the ruling in March 2018 following an 18-day trial at which David Hinsgt claimed that his work supervisor, Greg Short, would regularly “lift his bum and fart” on him.
AUSTRALIA: Almost a chain saw massacre? An idiot in Sydney whipped out a chain saw during a road-rage dispute, police said. The 25-year-old suspect got into a scrape with a 34-year-old driver in mid-April, but the older man backed down when the crazy younger man pulled out a chain saw and started pacing and revving the machine. We learn that both men left the scene before police arrived.
COLOMBIA: Prison break! Two convicts at a maximum-security prison in Bogota, escaped by getting a guard drunk – and persuading him to let them out to go on a booze run. Jhon Rincon and Olmedo Vargas got the La Picota prison guard drunk on the prison-brewed liquor, then promised to return with more drinks. Of course, police are still looking for the escapees.
BRAZIL: The headline read, “This play went all to hell.” A man at Easter time attacked a soldier during a Passion of Christ play, shouting that he “wouldn’t let Jesus die.” Video of the event in Nova Hartz shows the actor playing a Roman soldier stabbing the messiah’s side with a spear. That is when the audience member jumped onstage and hit the actor on the back of his head with what appeared to be a costume helmet.
