Weird Criminal Law Stories # 555: Follies at Walmart?

FLORIDA: The deputy was a thief too. It has been reported that Broward County Sheriff’s Deputy Henry Guzman allegedly stole $200 worth of merchandise over several days from a Lauderdale Lakes Walmart – while in uniform and working security for the store. He would hide DVD’s and “Star Wars” action figures in his department-issued bullet proof vest, police alleged. Yes, he has been arrested and is under investigation as to whether he will lose his job.

FLORIDA: Joyride? A couple stole a motorized shopping cart from a Walmart and took it for a joyride to a nearby bar. Jeffrey Sabiel, 50, and Santa Marie Walters, 32, were caught on camera driving off in the vehicle in the town of Largo, according to police. Police later found the cart at jimmy’s Sports Bar where the couple was drinking beer.

PENNSYLVANIA: The headline read, “He stinks at spying.” A pervert was arrested when he accidentally filmed footage of himself while setting up a camera to film people in a porta-potty. Kenneth Haluska, 59, allegedly installed the tiny device near a toilet-paper dispenser to record people at a construction site in Johnstown. After someone found it, police viewed the video and found the image of the perv pressing the button.

TEXAS: Double Trouble, double dribble? We learn that a 25-year-old man lived a double life as a teenager for nine months, so he could play high school basketball again, say officials. Sidney  Gilstrap-Portly claimed to be a Hurricane Harvey refugee enrolling at Hillcrest High School in Dallas, where he won honors for being offensive player of the year – that is, until the truth came out and he was charged with tampering with government records.

WISCONSIN: Corn dog deduction… Police tracked down three suspects in the theft of a statue from a church with an unusual clue: half-eaten corn dogs. Remnants of the food were found near St. Mary’s Catholic Church in Wausau where the statute of the Most Blessed Virgin Mary was  stolen in mid-May 2018. Police deduced the snacks were bought at a convenience store across the street from the  church and found the trio  using surveillance footage.

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