OHIO: “This perv has really crappy M.O.,” read the headline. We learn that a serial pooper has struck the same home in an upscale Ohio neighborhood four times in less than a month. The poop dropping idiot was caught on camera defecating on the floor of the home under construction in Clearcreek Township, where houses have sold for $1 million and up.
NORTH CAROLINA: We wonder how many miles to the gallon? Two men were arrested for allegedly smuggling $90 million in liquid methamphetamine in a semi-truck’s fuel tank. Raul Arreola, 49, and Aquileo Pineda, 48, were caught in the town of Linden with 120 gallons of liquid meth in Arreola’s 2009 Peterbilt truck, police report.
PENNSYLVANIA: House party nightclub? The party’s over for residents of a home on a quiet block – where police discovered a booming nightclub. At least 200 revelers, a hookah lounge and waitresses were found at the illegal after-hours night spot in the average looking home in the town of Hazelton, police report. Police also report bartenders, DJ’s, $900 in cash – and two children asleep on the second floor.
PENNSYLVANIA: KKK SWEET NIX! Members of the Ku Klux Klan have been leaving candy on homeowners’ lawns in Pennsylvania as a recruiting strategy – however, neighbors are not sweet on the visits from the racists. Baggies of candy hearts were stapled to pamphlets made by the Loyal White Knights of a North Carolina branch of the white supremacists group. It has also been reported that a number of residents of the town of Hattiesboro have called the police to complain of the activity.
PENNSYLVANIA: No free hooch to coach. A modern-day Robin Hood was kicked off a flight for sneaking free alcohol from first class to his buddies in the coach section. The incident happened on an American Airlines flight from Philly to Atlanta before the doors were even closed. Witnesses said the man ordered six shots and tried to take four of them to his friends who were seated in coach. He was swiftly escorted off the flight.
PENNSYLVANIA: Headline, “Cars really rev her engine.” A woman darted wildly into West Norriton street to chase cars because she is sexually attracted to them, she told police. Police apprehended the unidentified woman, who suffers from an ailment called mechanophilia, after she escaped from two home aids. On the way home, though, she kissed a white Nissan pathfinder she called “Husky Bear,” police said.
