Weird Criminal Law Stories # 588: Deer Urine?

LOUISIANA: Deer urine? We  learn that a serial slasher in New Orleans has been targeting convertible car roofs. The bandit has sliced a hole in at least three car tops, police said, then dumped a smelly and possibly toxic liquid in the cars that may be deer urine. In one case, a video shows a man fleeing by bike when a car alarm sounds.

FLORIDA: He deserves a noogie, read the headline. A man was sent to jail for drunkenly giving his girlfriend a “wet willie,” according to police. Joseph Sireci, 47, of fort Pierce got belligerent with his live-in girlfriend after a night of drinking. When she tried to leave, he grabbed her, licked his finger and stuck it in her ear. He was charged with battery. So silly…

FLORIDA: A total cokehead, read the headline. A doper put a new twist on the insult by gluing bags of cocaine to her scalp, according to police. After Rose Dawson, 30, was arrested for a car burglary, Pinellas County jailers searched her and found two small plastic bags of the drug under her wig, pasted to her noggin, authorities said.

MEXICO: Body recovered. A man stole a car after seeing the keys dangling in the ignition. However, it turned out to be a hearse with a dead body inside. Police in Tlaquepaque say Annibal Saul, 40, stole the vehicle while it was waiting to transport the corpse of an 80-year-old man from a hospital to a funeral home. They caught him on a highway, and both the car and the body were recovered.

MICHIGAN:  NO! We learn that an 11-year-old boy scared away a home invader raiding the family fridge. Young Nathan Markos, of Battle Creek, was watching TV when he heard a noise in the kitchen and confronted the refrigerator bandit. When the brazen bandit asked if it was OK to take some drinks, the boy yelled NO, and the thief bolted out of the back door.

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