Weird Criminal Law Stories # 602: Crap Shoot?

NEW JERSEY:  A real crap shoot, maybe? It has been reported that security at the Newark Airport detained a passenger in early November 2019, after an X-ray scan of his carry-on bag appeared to show he was packing a pistol. It wasn’t a pistol. What was it? It was only a gun shaped toilet roll holder. It was only used to spin toilet paper! TSA agents gave the passenger three options: place the fake gun in his check-in luggage, turn it over to security, or pass it to a friend for safe keeping. He chose number 2. Irony?

PENNSYLVANIA: Toddler with a bottle? A toddler was spotted waddling across a street with a full open bottle of beer, according to police. The tot, who had not yet turned 2, had gone on a barefoot walkabout on residential road in Steelton with a pal of the same age. Police charged four women caretakers with endangering the welfare of children.

TEXAS: Pistol-packing thief in a gorilla costume. The thief slipped into an apartment in Odessa on Halloween morning and gave the resident a King Kong-sized scare, police said. The furry felon took $1,000 worth of her possessions.

UNITED KINGDOM: Wingnuts. It has been reported that vegan extremists unleashed a slew of death threats against a small British farm because it offered a “name-your-own Christmas turkey” deal. Greendale Farm in Devon was flooded with threatening calls over a program that lets customers pick, name and feed their oven-destined turkeys.

UNITED KINGDOM: Kinder eggs misuse? It has been reported that police aren’t sweet on a British mother—who stashed thousands of dollars’ worth of cocaine inside her daughter’s candy eggs. Clare Tague, 32, of Manchester, allegedly hid more than $300,000 worth of high-quality coke inside 10 of her 11-year—old’s Kinder egg capsules, according to police. The drug-dealing mommy pleaded guilty to possession with intent to supply cocaine.

UNITED KINGDOM: “If you’re going to court to face a shoplifting charge you want to look your best,” read the headline. Darlene Mullen of Perth, Scotland, stopped  en route to shoplift from another store, police said. Mullen, 20 was caught on camera brazenly asking staffers at the courthouse to help her to remove a security tag on her newest coat.

VIRGINIA: Yes, it was a heavy sentence… We learn that a convicted drug dealer who weighs 750 pounds was sentenced to five years in prison during a hearing that had to be held on a courthouse loading dock in Richmond, as he laid on a stretcher in an ambulance. A judge sentenced Kenneth Hicks in late October 2019, on federal cocaine conspiracy charges.

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