Weird Criminal Law Stories # 624: Toe Jam?

CALIFORNIA: Pervert in a toe-jam? A man convicted of sucking on a sleeping woman’s toes after breaking into her home claimed to be a Zeus-like god sent to earth to seduce women. Richard Parkhurst, 29, of Norwalk was convicted of burglary and other charges in connection with a wild chain of events that unfolded after he exposed himself to a woman in October 2017, then later broke in to her home.

FLORIDA: Cookie Monster? A man’s girlfriend alleges he is a cookie monster. Wade Smith, 41, is facing a domestic-battery charge after he allegedly threw a cookie at his girlfriend. She told police at the couple’s Zephyrhills home in February that Smith struck her in the forehead with a hard piece of cookie. He allegedly admitted to the deed.

ALASKA: “Flat out dumb,” read the headline. A stupid drug dealer led police on a 19-mile chase with completely flat tires. Anthony “Squirrel” Jones, 55, of Fairbanks rolled over spike strips and popped his tires early in the failed getaway attempt but continued to flee on just the rims of his car. Police arrested Jones for possession with intent to distribute crystal meth.

FLORIDA: Too much Acid? Q woman was arrested twice in less than 12 hours for possessing LSD according to authorities. Stacey Adkinson, 21, was booked into the Walton County jail for allegedly trafficking in LSD on a Wednesday morning – only to be arrested at 10 pm the same day for speeding with a U-Haul full of drugs that included marijuana, magic mushrooms, ketamine and more LSD.

CALIFORNIA: BOO! A man arrested for trying to light a neighbor’s house afire told police he did it to kill a ghost, according to police. Cuong Pham, 38, of Stockton, allegedly doused the house with diesel fuel and tried to set it ablaze. Police say he is facing attempted murder and arson. No ghost was found.

FLORIDA: Fire and Brimstone? A woman claims that demons forced her to steal a rental car. Gardinia McCollough, 23, swiped a Toyota RAV4 from a Jacksonville Ace Rent-A-Car and then whined to police that “demons told me to do it… I didn’t take it, demons took it,” when they arrested her at a nearby motel. No actual demons were arrested in this matter.

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