GERMANY: What a “sting” operation. We learn that authorities in the town of Oldenburg were trying to arrest a 32-year-old fugitive in August of 2019, when he jumped off a balcony – and straight into a wasps’ nest. The wasps attacked the man, and the police when they tried to arrest him. The frantic fugitive finally jumped into an inflatable pool – escaping the wasps but not the cops.
MISSOURI: Chucky dolls galore… We learn that creepy dolls are mysteriously turning up around a small town – freaking out residents and baffling police. Some of the toys were placed headless in outdoor spots around the town of Festus, and others were staged to appear to be crying, leaning against poles and lying dead on the side of roads.
MONTANA: Granny took to the law on her own. Patti Baumgartner of the town of Polson, got so sick of drivers speeding down her street that she took to sitting in the street with a white hair dryer – in hopes that drivers would think the dryer was a speed gun slow down. They did slow down and police dubbed her an “Honorary Montana Trooper.”
NEW YORK: “Genuine bust for Fake Cop.” Read the headline. In mid-August 2019, a man impersonating a police officer pulled over a van – and found it full of real detectives. Police report that Valiery Portlock, 25, was driving his black Nissan Sentra in the town of Hicksville when he drove up behind the van and activated his air horn and emergency lights. When the detectives stopped, got out and identified themselves Portlock speeded off. He was later arrested. Idiot…
NEW MEXICO: These thieves must have really needed some wheels, badly. It appears that someone swiped the wheels from a mobile car speed monitor in the media of an intersection in Albuquerque in early September. The monitor has been placed on stationary pegs until it gets repaired, said officials. We learn that the monitor is still showing drivers their speed.
OHIO: Grand theft “roller coaster.” We learn that bandits swiped an entire roller coaster from the Union County Fairgrounds in Marysville in August 2019, authorities said. The thieves hitched the 20-foot-long Gator carnival roller coaster complete with alligator-designed train cars to the back of their truck and sped off. Police are hunting for the thieves to no avail so far.
