Weird Criminal Law Stories # 677: Hello Dolly, Dummies

GEORGIA: They were all dummies…Police officers thought they had found a body – and didn’t figure out she was a sex doll until the coroner arrived. The officers spotted the fully dressed, anatomically correct silicone doll near a train tracks in the town of Allenhurst. HELLO DOLLY, DUMMIES!

 GERMANY: Sex workers protest… It has been reported that sex workers are protesting coronavirus lockdowns, with many taking to the street to protest the pandemic closures shuttering their industry. Several dozen workers gathered in Berlin with a large inflatable sex doll, chanting slogans such as “Let us work” and “open the brothels now.”


GERMANY: The posse was hot on his tail, all 2,500 of them. A suspected gunman nicknamed Rambo was arrested in July after a 5-day manhunt in the Black Forest. Yves Rausch, 31, fled into the forest near the town of Oppenau after a confrontation with four policemen that ended with him pulling a gun and taking their weapons. This led to some 2,5000 officers who began combing  the forest using thermal detector and dogs.  RUN RAMBO RUN…

ITALY: Some strong coffee beans? Police found cocaine stuffed inside coffee beans after they opened a package addressed to a  fictional mafia boss in the “John Wick” film franchise. Custom officers at Milan’s Malpensa Airport opened the package from Colombia after they saw it was addressed to Santino D’Antonio. Inside, 130 grams of coke were stuffed into more than 500 hollow-out coffee beans, police arrested a 50-year-old man who tried to claim the package.

KENTUCKY: He didn’t have a prayer…  A man was arrested in mid-July 2020, for allegedly breaking into a home while naked. He told police he did the burglary while taking magic mushrooms with Jesus. The suspect, 41, said he was simply playing a virtual reality video game with the son of God. We learn he was charged with indecent exposure, burglary, and public intoxication.

DELAWARE: “CHEESED!” It was reported that a pizza shop owner stopped a machete-wielding robber by throwing a  hot pizza pie at him. The owner of the Stargate Pizza Shop was closing up shop when he was approached by the male suspect. He told the man he didn’t have any cash and then he threw the pie at him, causing the would-be robber to flee.

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