FLORIDA: The headline read, “No need for a strip search.” It was reported that a naked man stole a police car, drove it into the woods and slammed into a tree. A police officer first spotted the unidentified man standing in his birthday suit on the side of the road in Jacksonville, and pulled over to help, police said. However, the man allegedly “became combative,” hopped into the officer’s cruiser and sped off, only to crash into the tree. The police report maintains that the man was later arrested.
SWIZERLAND: Snow Job! We learn that in late December 2020, more than 400 British tourists fled from a Swiss ski resort under cover of night, despite being ordered to quarantine there for 10 days The skiers were ordered to isolate themselves in their rooms at Verbier in Valais Canton in response to the UK’s new strain of the coronavirus. On the Sunday morning edict after, authorities found that less than a dozen remained.
VIETNAM: A doctor is stunned to discover dozens of small mushrooms sprouting in a man’s ear. The man had come to Dr. Chong in Ha Noi with complaints of about itchiness and, after an endoscopic exam, the doctor found multiple 2-centimeter tall fungi. The mushrooms were the result of sharing an ear-cleaning tool with someone.
UGANDA: Police Chief… Recently the Ugandan police chief refused to apologize for his police officers beating reporters “for their own good.” “You are insisting you must go where there is danger. Yes, we shall beat you for your own sake to help you understand that you do not go there,” Margin Okoth Ochola said.
UNITED KINGDOM: Idiot bandit in England butt dialed police during an alleged break-in. The clumsy bandit, who was working with an accomplice, sat on his cell-phone midway through the heist – accidentally dialing 999, the country’s equivalent of 911, in Staffordshire. It activated a video-phone feature that police used to arrest him for grand theft.
VERMONT: These thieves don’t have a leg to stand on, or do they? In January 2021, a thief stole a car in which three prosthetic limbs, including two custom blades for completists running were stored. Police later found 39-year-old Paralympian Muji Karim’s car, taken from a Burlington hotel lot, but not the limbs.
