Weird Criminal Law Stories # 483 All Florida Dummies

FLORIDA: A terrible shot in the groin! We learn that a Florida man could be jailed for accidently shooting himself in the penis. Cedrick Jelks, 38, of Jacksonville, ran to the bathroom of a stranger’s home after he sat on his gun in his car and the gun went off. The homeowner followed Jelks, saw that he was wounded, and took him to a hospital where he underwent surgery. Jelks, we learn, may now face some jail time for the possession of a firearm because of his 2004 felony conviction for cocaine possession. Convicted felons are not allowed to carry or own firearms.



FLORIDA: The headline read, “He could not have been louder about his missing powder.” While responding to a call about a burglary one Sunday in July of this year a, police in Fort Walton Beach, discovered an agitated man claiming to be a drug dealer in need of assistance. David Blackmon told deputies from the Okaloosa Sheriff’s office that a thief had broken into his car and stole $50 in cash and a quarter once of cocaine, according to the Miami Herald newspaper. Authorities confirmed that the items seemed to be missing from where the 35-year-old said he put them; however, the deputies were able to help Blackmon locate a second bag of cocaine that he had left on the center console, at which point they began reading him his Miranda rights. Deputies also found a crack pipe and crack rock inside the car. Blackmon was charged with felony possession of cocaine and possession of drug paraphernalia. The IDIOT was released on $4,000 bond.



FLORIDA: UGH! From butt to mouth! A woman charged with heroin possession gained more charges when jailers found a bag of meth in her butt, according to authorities. Summer Adamson, 30, was originally put under arrest after police found a syringe and heroin in her car. As she was being booked into jail, Adamson pulled the baggie from her hindquarters and put it in her mouth – but not fast enough for Collier county sheriff’s deputies to miss it. Another charge was added.



FLORIDA: The headline read,  ”911 ‘crime’ ring.” A man who authorities say called 911 nearly 100 times in one day has been arrested. Clearwater, Florida, police said a Facebook post that Michael Mott called the department 98 times using two phones in mid-July in an attempt to get money seized during a drug arrest in January. Mott was charged with making harassing telephone calls.



FLORIDA: Fake it until you make it – NOT! A man pretending to be a police officer was arrested when he tried to pull over a woman – who turned out to be a real-life police officer.  Milton Perez, 46, allegedly rolled down the window of his Ford Mustang, flashed a fake silver badge and ordered Miami Officer Kenia Fallat to stop the car. Fallat, who was driving an unmarked police car, promptly charged him with impersonating an officer and false arrest.



FLORIDA:  The headline read: “Need a lift.” It appears that a Florida man was tired of walking, so he stole a $38,000 forklift and drove it to his home in Port Orange. We learn that this was not Bradley Barefoot’s first forklift heist. He also stole one a year ago in Daytona Beach, officials report.



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